i mean just look. anytime you look at the sky it's an artpiece.

ah well, i've been thinking maybe life isn't that unhappy or dull. maybe i'll take a road trip. heh.

anyway, i've met someone today. we had been the best of friends in primary school, him being the spastic funny guy, me being me. so he would get the attention, i wouldn't mind. i liked standing by the sidelines, preferring to be a part of the audience, rather than the performer. well, maybe for one, you don't goof you image off. (what's left of it, anyway.) so he was the enthusiastic monitor-to-be, i was the guy in the background. no quirks, no anomalies. we liked the way we were. then we went to sec school. he went to someone better than where i was going, and i was fine with that. until i met him today. i look back at all he has achieved. then i look at me. sure, i like the way i am, sure i like keeping a low profile, but he's living the life he wanted. then it dawned on me, maybe i could've been him. maybe i could've been the popular guy, maybe i could've been the super popular spastic guy with no social awareness. what could've been. so many chances, so many oppurtunities, and then, there were none.

crossing the overhead bridge coming back home, i realised something. that society really is something like a hive. yeah, come to think of it, your whole personality is based on society. how you look, how you dress, how you work, play, eat, sleep. i mean, you look good probably to get a mate(to put it really fundamentally), which benefits society when we procreate. you study, to benefit society, to make the 'world a better place'. you eat, sleep, play work all for this humongous hive. you do not go out of place. you don't murder, kill, rob, steal, rape, slaughter or torture not because you don't want to, but because you've been taught not to. everyone, no matter how distant, has a little piece of this human collective thought in him/her. even the gender thing is superimosed by society. but that's not the point. point is, you might not realise, but your identity and personality may not be yours. hm, say we talk about language. language is a tool of communication defined by society. 'i feel sad.' take this simple sentence. the very fact that you communicate using these very words, show that the idea itself is anonymous. just as how we are unable to fully express our ideas or feelings because language acts as a sort of template. 'there is a word for everything.' they say, but i beg to differ. there is a word for everything you know. get it?

heh, in any case, just remember, you're unique,
just like everyone else.

yeah. was wondering whether i was the only one who thought about this. apparently some french philosopher beat me to it a few hundred years ago. ah well, now i know i'm not. because now you do too. ponder away.
life goes on.